Myrtle Hill, Ballygarvan, Co. Cork is for rent on Daft.ie

Behold the plunging cathedral ceiling of knotty pine, engineered so precisely that full standing height is available only in the exact 1.5-square-foot patch above the pillow. The private cinema room, tastefully mounted on its own dresser, brings all the ambiance of a 2009 Travelodge directly into your sleeping quarters. And that single sunlit porthole, glowing an electric blue that suggests either a lovely afternoon or nuclear event outside, is priced at a mere €280 a week for those who consider forehead clearance a needless luxury.